Honors English Deibler 4

Prompt 1: I feel that Mark has every right to think about suicide based on what he witnessed, but I am not at all saying that what he was considering is right.  I can’t imagine what thoughts would be running through my head if I witnessed a murder.  Apparently, the situation is too much for Mark since he faints when he finally returns home.  Seeing this horrible act makes Mark consider if he will ever leave Alexandra or if he will end up running from dangerous situations for the rest of his life.  He sees each day as just another day in which he will somehow manage to survive, he even feels this way on his birthday.  I know that I would definitely ponder if life is worth living if I lived the way he did every day.

It is extremely sad how Mark was so young when he considered ending his own life.  Witnessing first hand something as brutal as the murder described in the book could and would probably have very saddening effects on the person who witnessed it.  In Mark’s case, his grades suffered and he didn’t want to go outside and play anymore.  He became a “loner” and secluded himself from everything.  Pretty soon after, he began to contemplate the option of suicide.  Mark was beginning to recall all of the horrible events that had happened to him throughout his short life.  Mark had endured things in 12 years that most people would never endure in their lifetime.  To me, its remarkable how he hadn’t even thought of the concept of suicide until he was 12 given his circumstances.

I would not say that Mark is a selfish person for having the thoughts of suicide.  He was just confused and wasn’t sure if his life would get any better.  As he fiddled with a stitch-blade knife, Mark considered the how he would kill himself and says that he was skeptical if anyone would miss him or not if he died.  When I read this, I became extremely saddened, especially when his mother began to cry with Mark.  Overall, I am not surprised, although depressed, that Mark seriously thought of committing suicide.  His life has been filled with suffering and struggle up to this point in the book, it is only natural of him to doubt that things will get better for him and his family.

Prompt 2: Pg 168:

“That afternoon I was predisposed to exacting the same justice on myself.  I felt that I had to die – and that afternoon I wanted to die – then I would die like a gladiator.  There was unanimity among the boys I played swordfights with that the best way was to die like a gladiator.

As I stood there on the stoep, however, my mind was in utter confusion.  Doubts, fears, restraints cluttered my thoughts.  Should I go ahead and do it?  If so, when?  Should I leave a note for my mother?  Where should I leave it?  How did it feel when someone died?  Where should I plunge the knife: in the stomach or in the heart?  Would I die a quick death, or a lingering one?  What would everybody say when they found my corpse?  Would anyone cry?  Would anyone care?  Did I have the courage to do it?”

I chose this passage because I saw this as the biggest turning point in the chapter.  Mark began to weigh his options when a hint of doubt in his commitment to go through with the plan swept over him.  While I was reading this passage, I could not believe my eyes.  I re-read a couple of sentences to make sure I wasn’t imagining what I was reading.  To me, this passage is significant in that Mark is facing the reality of what suicide would do to himself and the people around him.

Prompt 3: What was Mark’s mother thinking when she saw him with the knife?

I enjoy reading the fiction stories of dystopian societies more than non-fiction stories because I know that the fiction stories have not happened.  It’s depressing to think about how someone actually went through what happened in the non-fiction stories.  It is a lot more relaxing and I can analyze stories more when I am not constantly thinking about the real, horrific events that occur in the non-fiction stories.  However, I feel that dystopian ideas are better presented in non-fiction texts for that exact reason.  With a non-fiction text, I have a better understanding of what is happening and I can picture the events in my head as I am reading.  First off, Animal Farm contains talking animals and pigs wearing suits, so it is hard for me to fully comprehend the distraught that the rest of the animals endured when I know that the events in the book can’t happen.  “Harrison Bergeron” was very similar to Animal Farm in that they both of the fiction stories contain events that aren’t possible, like Harrison and the ballerina flying.  Thus, I have a difficult time fully understanding the dystopian societies presented in these stories.  I like Kaffir Boy because I am reading and learning about true events, not made up stories.  Although it is depressing to read, the ideas of a dystopian society are strongly present in this book because it is a non-fiction book.  The events “sink in” easier knowing that someone actually endured what is written.