Honors English Deibler 5

1. How will Mark mend a relationship with his father? Will he ever?

2. Will Mark finish his schooling and be as successful as he has been so far?

Prompt One

Even though he is going through such a horrible time, and he witnessed such a terrible thing I do not think that he should even be thinking about killing himself. I agree, seeing someone be killed is a really frightening and probably traumatic experience, thinking about ending your life because you saw that and think how easy it must be to just die is understandable and, not to be cliche, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Being hungry, yeah it’s hard. I know after only going 30 hours without any food I was starving. But wanting to die because your hungry is not a good reason either.

Mark felt alone and abandoned by the world. That feeling of loneliness is a horrible feeling but people feel it everyday. Yes, some of them kill themselves but that just means that they did not want to be strong enough. You have to WANT to survive and WANT to get through the hard times in life in order to get though whatever it is you might be going through. Mark is only ten years old and he is already contemplating death and suicide and reading that makes me hurt for him because I can not imagine what it must have felt like to be hungry everyday, all day, 24/7. I can’t imagine what it is like to be cold and lonely. But obviously, if he has made it this far, he s strong enough to make it through anything.

Prompt Two

” My tenth birthday came and went, like all the other nine, uncelebrated. Having never had a normal childhood, I didn’t miss birthdays; to me they were simply like other days: to be survived. Strangely, however, on each birthday I somehow got the feeling that I had aged more than a year. Suffering seemed to age me more than birthdays. Though I was only ten, black life seemed to have, all along, been teaching me the same lessons of survival, and making me the same demands upon me for that survival, as it was doing to grown-ups. Thus, emotionally, I had aged far beyond my ten years.”

chapter 27 ; page 162; paragraph 1.

I don’t know if this was as life altering as it seems to be to me, but I feel as though only being ten years old and feeling like you are far older than you are emotionally is really hard for Mark. Saying he is well beyond his ten years emotionally is a very strange thing because during the book so far, besides going to school, you never get to see him be a kid. So it actually makes sense that he feels this way about himself because I honestly believe he is too.

Also, never having celebrated a birthday except when you go to sleep that night thankful that you survived, is a horrible way to have spent a life. I don’t know if it is just because we live in such a fortunate place where almost, if not everyone, celebrates their birthday, but I just feel horrible knowing that in ten years he hasn’t received a gift or celebrated in anyway. We often forget how lucky we are to be in such an amazing country and how less fortunate other people are, even in America.

Prompt Three

Does he ever have the right things for school? He gets beaten everyday for not being well prepared, why do the teachers do this if they know he and his family can not afford the right supplies?

Does he even go back to school?

Chapter 28, pg 167, paragraph 1

“A few months after I witnessed the grisly murder a strange feeling that I should end my own life suddenly came over me. I don’t know why I felt that way, though the feeling seemed connected with the witnessing of the murder. All the memories of my childhood suffering came back and multiplied to a lifetime of continuous suffering, and I felt I could take no more.”

I felt like this was a very strong passage and it really showed Mark’s feelings. It is important because he feels that at this time in his life all of the experiences he has had to go through are not worth it. He specifically mentions the murder that he had witnessed that I don’t think any of us can relate to. This is the first time in the book that he has thought about actually committing suicide.

1.    Mark contemplates suicide on these pages.  While influenced by one main event, he also considers his life-long struggles as he ponders this decision.   The gravity of this idea is even more tremendous given his age.  Are Mark’s thoughts justifiable based on what he witnesses and experiences in his life?  Include specific details that support your thoughts.  (2-3 paragraphs; min. 5 sentences/paragraph)

Mark witnessed something that I can never imagine seeing. I hate even seeing the smallest amount of blood when someone gets hurt, or seeing a tragic occurrence such as a car accident. Mark, after leaving soccer practice was walking home and saw two men being chased by six other men. He quickly raced to a nearby yard. He remembered that his mother had told him if he ever came in contact with the tsotsis that he should run until they are out of sight. That is exactly what Mark did, but while hiding in the yard he was still able to view the harsh occurrences.

When Mark was debating on taking his life, I had to understand. Although I have no experiences that could lead me to believe that it is worth taking my own life, the events in his life did. Mark lives through terror and fear daily wondering what may come next. He literally lives day to day. After Mark experienced watching men get brutally hurt, and reading all of the other struggles throughout his life I understand why he would want to commit suicide. Mark heard the men saying, “Please don’t kill me! Please don’t kill me!”, and the men responded by saying shut up. Not only has Mark seen someone get murdered, he also has seen his mother extremely injured from beatings from his dad, his family struggling without food, police raids, and more difficult experiences that are hard to live with.

I am glad that Mark fought through his life, but I completely understand why he would want to take his life. I am sure he thought many times that it was not worth all of the pain. He went through so many hardships throughout his life and those difficult times started at such a young age.

1. Yes, Mark’s thoughts are justifiable with what he has experienced and witnessed at his age. The suffering, pain, loss, struggles, and more that he has gone through are ridiculously far more than what a high percentage of people have even touched upon. I can not imagine what it must be like to be in his shoes, to have his lifestyle, or to even experience some of it. Although suicide is not the answer when your struggles become unbearable or when you just can’t handle it anymore, he sees it as a solution and a way to put an end to the dark life he has lived so far. Because he is so young he doesn’t understand that it would affect others… especially his mom who has very high hopes for his future. I think that because of his age and the extreme amount of agony he’s been through it’s understandable he would want to.

You can argue that it isn’t because he possesses a high level of maturity at his age being treated like an adult. He also has responsibilities of one too, being expected to help out the family and take care of his younger siblings. His life isn’t like a normal kid with playdates on Saturdays, and a guidance counselor to go to when others bully him. He doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a birthday party, to have a best friend, or sleep in a comfy bed with a stable roof over his head. Mark doesn’t have that certainty kids need that everything will be okay when he’s experienced so many moments that make his feel like it never will be. Cut him so slack, and try to put yourself in his shoes…even though the soles are worn.

2. Page 168: “While standing there, lost in a world of confusion and fear, my mother unexpectedly joined me. I tried hiding the knife behind my back, but she had already seen it. She remained still alongside me, alternately looking at me, then at the knife. Overwhelmed with guilt, I dropped my eyes. A few moments passed in tense silence. Still she didn’t say anything, seemingly waiting for me to say something, to explain the reason for the knife, and why I was trembling. After a long while, I said, in a soft, trembling voice, ‘Mama, what would happen if I were to die? Would anybody miss me? Would anybody care? Will it matter to anyone?’” Chapter 28 in general was my favorite chapter out of all of them for me so far and tearjerking. I chose this passage out of Chapter 28 because I thought it was really strong. I like how the mom didn’t freak out too or panic like I would. It also shows how Mark is unaware that it would affect others, and thinks that his death wouldn’t make a difference. It shows how he’s peaked in terms of anxiety and really shows the relationship between him and his mom.

3. A-If you were going through similar things as Mark, would you consider suicide? What would you do if you were his age, and had gone through so much? Would you bear with it and stay strong, or try to find a solution?

B-If you had witnessed the murder, what do you think you would have done?

1. Yes, Mark’s thoughts about committing suicide are justifiable.  At just ten years old, he has experienced more pain and suffering than any one human being ever should.  Starvation is an every day feeling for Mark.  He has been beaten and abused countless times by countless people, including the police and his own father.  As a mere adolescent Mark has already witnessed murders and dead bodies.  These events and feelings are not something that a ten year old boy, or anyone for that matter, should be accustomed to.

Everyone has bad days here and there.  For the average person having a bad day, suicide is not justifiable whatsoever.  However, when every single day is full of abuse, starvation, and pain, suicidal thoughts are understandable.  Constantly hurting is no way to live.  When all one has to look forward to in life is more suffering, suicide may seem like a solution and unfortunately it is justified.

2. “An icy chill of death froze the world around me. For a long time I remained stock-still in the tall grass, in the limpid night, scarcely breathing, watching the naked, mutilated, lifeless body contorted on the ground in a pool of blood.  Each gaze made it seem to come alive, to stir, to slowly rise, like an entombed Egyptian mummy coming back to life.” page 164

I chose this passage because I think it has a huge impact on Mark’s life.  At just ten years old he has witnessed a brutal murder.  Seeing this occur right in front of you is enough to scar anyone and change their life forever.

3.    Present 1-2 open-ended questions that you are wondering as you read the book.  The question may be one to which we’ll find answer, or it may be one that will never reach a definite solution.  Be sure that the question or questions are open-ended (yes/no responses will not work).

Why did Mark’s mother wait exactly three weeks to do something about him skipping school, even though she was aware of what he was doing?

1. Mark’s thoughts are completely understandable given the circumstances, though they may not be justifiable. Mark has been faced with adversity almost since birth; growing up in Alexandra, he has seen death, disease, and a despairing dichotomy.  He has been subject to near-weekly police raids in a time where his family had little money, perhaps more so than usual. His world has been one rife with seemingly nothing but strife and turmoil as he struggled to survive and make something of himself in a world that was against him. However, it would not be completely fair to say that he was never happy either. Growing up, he had his mother and maternal relatives to guide, support and nurture him as he attempted to break out of the perceived role black South Africans were given.

It is here that we broach the subject of suicide. The act of taking one’s own life is incomprehensible to some, unjustifiable to others, and an easy way out for many. Despite the suffering that had been inflicted on him, I do not believe that seriously contemplating suicide was a justifiable response. Suicide is, inherently, a selfish act. By taking one’s own life, one not only deprives oneself from the many joys and fortunes that one could have achieved, such as having children, but one also deprives those close to him of a loved one. Had Mark killed himself at such a tender age, there is no doubt that his family would be torn apart. His mother, who counted on him to have a better education and, by extension a better life, would be broken. His relatives would be deeply hurt, his young siblings perhaps irreversibly, as they would struggle to understand why their big brother would end his life. His father would likely show his aggression by being even more abusive, perhaps blaming Mark’s mother for his death, and would likely come home drunk far more often. His friends would be upset as well. Most importantly, Mark would lose the chance to make something of himself, the chance to save his family, the chance to leave.

2. “‘Whip him good,’ she impassively gave the order-which was not necessary-and there and then I knew it was the end. She left the office and stood outside. The teachers descended on me like starved vultures out of the sky. They commenced the savage beating, taking turns whenever one teacher’s hand got tired. I fainted. They revived me, only to whip me some more. I spent an entire week bedridden, unable to sit up or sleep. For the rest of my primary school fays I seldom, if ever, cut school for any reason. Even when I was gravely ill, I would crawl to school, and the teachers would send me back home.” (p. 161)

I chose this quote because it shows the extent to which Mark had changed his views on school. As stated in the quote, he would go to school no matter what the occasion, lest he suffer a beating. Though I don’t necessarily condone such punitive measures, I recognize their effectiveness.

3. a. How do you see Mark and his father interacting as Mark becomes more educated and begins to resent his father more and more?

b. Do you agree with the corporal punishment used by Mark’s school? Do you think it is effective? If so, why? If not, what policy would you employ?

1.The suicidal thoughts that Mark processes are relevant to his situation and the conditions that he experiences and has to suffer through. Contemplating suicide is never a justifiable way of escape.  In Mark’s mind, he sees that it is the way that would solve all of his problems. He is living in a constant state of fear that is on his mind at all times.  By seeing death and suffering everyday, it is natural for him to see suicide as an answer when he feels like his atrocious life has come as too much to bear.

After witnessing the murder, Mark had completing changed his philosophy of life. He recollected all of the years of suffering and saw them as too painful to endure through for his whole life. The recognition of his life set him into a mental state that sustained that suicide was the answer because nothing was ever going to get better for him. In this state, it seemed sensible for him to kill himself, even though he was questioning the act during the decision.

2. “I craned my neck to see what was going on.  What I saw made me gasp with horror. Having drawn gleaming, sharp knives, meat cleavers and tomahawks, the tsotsis began carving the man as he howled for mercy. “Don’t kill me, please don’t kill me.  I have ten children, please don’t kill me.  Take everything I have, but please don’t kill me.” (pg 163, passage5)

I chose this passage because it is the start of the scene that changes Mark. He witnesses a murder that modified his view of his way of life. It is evident that upon watching the murder, he would see his life and want to change it. The life-altering experience leads Mark to contemplate suicide, which, in turn, leads him to then strive to live to continue his life for the love of his mother.

3.Why does Mark not realize his mother loves him and would be crushed if he committed suicide?

How did the black men who killed the man become tsotis?

Questions:

1.  What would Mark’s life be like now if he never attended school?

2. If Mark’s father supported schooling, would that have taken any doubt out of Mark’s mind about attending?  Would he be more enthusiastic?

One of the most powerful parts of the given chapters would have to be, in my opinion, the attempted suicide (ch.28, p.167). This part really changed my view on Mark.  I have always realized he was depressed and sad about his young life, but not to this extent.  On p.168, Mark talks about “to die with honour.”  He thinks suicide is the most honorable way to end his life.  This just sticks out to me as extremely sad because if you look at the big picture, mark is only ten years old!  I thought the bonding between him and his mother (p.169), was also extremely powerful.  It conveys the message of family love and caring.